Good morning family,

For about half of our A.A. geographic areas in the U.S. and Canada, we are fast approaching election season to elect our trusted servants at the group, district, and area levels.  As many of you know, I have been privileged to serve as the Panel 73 Delegate for Area 65 Northeast Texas and in 155 days (but who’s counting…lol), I will rotate out and the Delegate our area elects to follow me will begin their service in representing the voice of NETA65 and the Fellowship as a whole.

As we all know, A.A. is a microcosm of the world it lives in, and right now, we are smack dab in the middle of some deep and heavy conversations in the U.S. I only bring that up to highlight the fact that much of our country feels divided, and as a result of some decisions our A.A. General Service Board and Conference have recently made, there is a strong feeling of division for many in the Fellowship as well.

I have no desire to use this post as a tool to discuss one side or the other in conversations that are going on outside the Fellowship at the moment (Tradition Ten – ‘outside issues’). I’m however writing this morning to bring into mind some of the tools our spiritual program of action have taught us in being able to have “grace-filled” conversations with each other about the matters that are important to each of us as we choose our next set of trusted servants.

It’s our experience of late that the Fellowship is shining a light on our service entities (e.g., the Conference, the General Service Board, our two corporate boards, and the staff of our two corporations). While there’s always been a healthy need to know how our Fellowships’ business is being conducted from our groups, it’s been my experience that there’s recently been a light shone on the inner workings of these service entities like never before. We’ve found ourselves in a time in A.A. history where distrust and disunity are at all-time highs. I sent a lengthy letter to our previous GSB Interim Chair and stated that we’ve a host of problems we’re dealing with and I was convinced that each of those problems are systemic of two main issues:

1.) Ineffective communication up and down the triangle (we’ve simply lost the ability to talk to each other), and
2.) Lack of trust up and down the triangle.

As I approach rotation, I can truthfully say those two problems still exist.  I’m not going to spend time giving you an outline of all the things that I and other delegates have done to try and fix that (although we’ve made some progress in trying to get our triangle pointed in the right direction), I do want to take a moment to ask what YOU think the criteria should be in electing our trusted servants.  Our service manual provides a really great place to start in laying down the characteristics of what a good leader looks like. It starts off by saying things like, “Good service leaders, together with sound and appropriate methods of choosing them, are at all levels indispensable for our future functioning and safety. Good leadership cannot function well in a poorly designed structure. But weak leadership can hardly function at all, even in the best of structures. We must continuously find the right people for our many service tasks.”

So, what is a good service leader and what makes them right for the task? Bill’s article, “LEADERSHIP IN A.A.: EVER A VITAL NEED” gives us a glimpse into what that can be. He shares that a good leader in A.A. is someone who…

• Can personally put principles, plans and policies into such dedicated and effective action that the rest of us want to back them up and help them with their job
• Does not power-drive
• Is not meek
• Can originate plans, policies, and ideas for the improvement of our Fellowship
• Consults widely before taking decisions and actions
• Never passes the buck
• Understands “give and take”
• Has the ability to compromise cheerfully
• Has vision and who has the ability to make good estimates, both for the immediate and for the more distant future because vision is the very essence of prudence

I’ve recently been participating in another spiritual community I’m involved in about how to have “grace-filled” conversations about hard topics. In this group, they have highlighted five (5) things that can help us with this:

1. Commit to recognizing and putting down defensiveness
2. Commit to learning something in the discussion (the foundation to a well-informed group conscience)
3. Commit to having a dialogue instead of giving alternate speeches
4. Commit to assessing whether you’re the right person to say what is on your mind (sometimes the answer is no; does it need to be said? does it need to be said by me? does it need to be said by me now?”)
5. Commit to ending the discussion knowing that you have strengthened the relationship (so you can still go to coffee with them after the discussion)

I believe these commitments can foster meaningful dialogue in the context of any relationship if participants in the discussion genuinely embrace them. In A.A., maybe, just maybe, we could stop calling ourselves “divided.” Buying into this conflict-driven narrative is a choice. Maybe, we don’t feel divided from each other or the people in our A.A. circles in any way. There are no perfect relationships, ideas, people, or organizations in our lives. They’re all flawed, just as we are flawed. Is it possible that we can see past those flaws—because we are first looking for the good? Is it possible that we are better for our differences? Is it possible that like Bill W. said in Concept Nine, a good idea can come from anywhere? We need everyone because every member of A.A. has a voice and a vote.

As we embark on selecting our next set of trusted servants and upon having “grace-filled” conversations and discussions with each other, I hope we all remember no one’s inherent dignity should be threatened or violated (Concept Twelve, Article 5 – “personally punitive”). That’s not the A.A. way. In the landscape of concerns facing us today in Alcoholics Anonymous, when we pretend otherwise, we acquiesce to a Fellowship divided against itself. We need a radical embrace of our shared solution to move us out of the battle and into community. This idea doesn’t negate the need for accountability of our trusted servants as outlined in our Concepts, but it does offer a nuanced way to approach it.

My prayer is that as your groups, districts, and areas, sit down to elect your next Panel of trusted servants that you’ll take up this call to action earnestly. Together, we can invigorate our interests in shared-solution and spread grace-filled conversation throughout our Fellowship in our group consciences. In the process, we will find each other and ourselves. It will not be easy, and it will require growth. We will evolve individually and collectively, and we’ll get closer to that more perfect place Bill W. envisioned in Tradition One where he stated that unity is our most cherished quality — that place that is united without being unanimous.

I encourage every member of A.A. to get involved in the process.  Ask questions when you don’t know the answer. Talk about those things you don’t understand, remove any pre-conceived beliefs you may have about one thing or the other, find YOUR truth, give grace, get curious, embrace the paradoxes of our Fellowship, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and always remember that love and tolerance of others is our code. Our Fellowship CAN remain united if we are all willing to keep the foundational spiritual principles of our program of action in place so we can continue to carry our message of hope to the still suffering alcoholic who is about to walk in our door looking for a solution to their hopeless state of mind and body.  God bless.

In love and service,