Taking Suggestions

Taking Suggestions

Taking Suggestions

Recently, I had a sponsee ask me the most interesting question…

“When you first came into A.A., what made you start taking the suggestions your sponsor gave you?”

Honestly, I had to stop and think about it! I mean, TODAY, I am 100% clear about the answer… but back then when I was in a fog and wasn’t even sure if I was an alcoholic or not, I am not clear why I took the suggestions.  I know now that I did it because I saw him and others at peace and enjoying life, and that was something I certainly wasn’t and didn’t have at that time.

When I asked him what his answer to that question was, his response kinda blew me away.  He said (and I am paraphrasing here):

“When I first came in and was told to get a sponsor and take the Steps, I thought, “Ok.” So, I read the book and it all seemed so illogical.  But I was willing to do whatever he told me to do because somewhere in my mind I thought, “If I do this and it doesn’t work – it won’t be MY fault.”

I loved his answer because it speaks volumes to the obstinance and rebellion of the alcoholic.

I was so intrigued by the question, that I sent it out to my home group (http://getinthecar.org) members (and a few others in my network) and got some beautiful and amazing responses that I wanted to share with you (in the hopes that they will create some identification for you).  Thanks for letting me share.  Enjoy!

What is YOUR answer to that question?

– “I knew my sponsor could not possibly screw my life up more than I had already done so myself. I always say, you don’t have to want what we have, you just have to not want you have…bad enough to do what we tell you.”

– “The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing. There was something about his eyes.” – Bill’s Story

– “The gift of desperation. I was 100% out of ideas and hated with every fiber of my being who I was.”

– “I seen their peace and hope and freedom and half measures did me no good. I prayed to be willing to be willing.”

– “She was always in the meetings and hugged everyone she saw…no matter what condition they were in. When I asked for her help she got all teared up and said “Honey I’ve been praying that God show me if I can help you”. Love. That did it. ❤️????”

– “I was so defeated, anything my sponsor asked was better than my current outcomes.”

– “I was out of options.”

– “I was about to kill myself and taking her suggestions seemed worth trying.”

– “Pain and desperation, along with fear that I would drink again sometimes mixed with fear that I would never drink again.”

– “I had supposedly worked 1 through 3 and was whining about working my 4th. About 6 months in I finally hit the “jumping off point”. I had knew for sometime that I couldn’t live WITH alcohol, but it was at this point in time when I seriously contemplated suicide, that I finally realized that I couldn’t live WITHOUT alcohol. From that point to this, if suggested, I do it!!”

– “I usually didn’t do anything that was suggested until it hurt bad enough . After 26 years I’ve made a little progress in that area.”

– “I took a more, “what have a I got to lose?” approach and I’m pretty sure the first sponsor to take me through the book told me that. If this didn’t work, I still had the same crappy options but if it did–I just might get to be okay in my own skin without endangering myself and other people. I’m a gambler so I bet on the big pay off!”

– “I didn’t want to die, but sure as hell didn’t know how to live.”

– “100% some unknown greater source than I. Or… maybe I wanted to be the #1 – top – best student ever! ????????”

– “Nothing else worked and I knew it had worked for others….I surrendered and latched on to my new family. Desperate afraid and definitely willing.”

– “At first I thought there may be 2 Gods, the AA God appeared to be more forgiving and more caring. My sponsor surely had a connection to “A God of his understanding” and I wanted that. That Almighty, punishing and demanding God simply was not for me…  Many of us were raised in church, yet became alcoholics. Did the church fail us? No. I just reached a point where I did not want to be there. I did not think I could please their God… I learned that the AA God is the same God, only not as demanding… Saw this recently during the presidential election. Seemed the Church was demanding the people to vote for a corrupt, lying, reprobate, double minded person. The type God had warned us about??? Yeah, my spirit was questioning this. This pandemic and the election had many off kilter. One thing I know is that “Lying ” is not the new “in thing”… An honest program (without politics ) will keep us afloat.”

– “When I first started taking the suggestions it wasn’t because I wanted this it was because I couldn’t that anymore. I couldn’t stand it, I was tired of feeling and living that way and my ears opened little by little. I didn’t just come in and surrender. I didn’t throw in the towel, I threw in little pieces of the towel at a time. Was the touchstone of my spiritual growth.”

– “I was desperate. Suicide was a vital option, but I hoped it might work for me. Thank GOD it did & does.”


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