One of the more interesting writing assignments I’ve ever suggested to a sponsee had nothing to do with Step Four, amends lists, or character defects. It was simply this: Write about your expectations. At first glance, that may not seem like a particularly “A.A.” topic. Expectations don’t appear in the Twelve Steps. The Big Book doesn’t …

The Message Never Changes, But The Methods Do One of the gifts of studying the Big Book with other alcoholics is discovering that sometimes the most interesting conversations happen in the tension between what the book says and how we experience recovery today. Tonight, I was in a Big Book study discussing pages 90-91 of …

Why Bill W. Chose the Language of Humility One of the most fascinating things about the Big Book is not just what it says, but how it says it. In Chapter Five, How It Works, in what members have come to call the Sick Man’s Prayer, we find this familiar passage: “We realized that the people …

One of the greatest freedoms recovery offers is the ability to stop letting other people decide who we’re going to be. Most of us arrived in Alcoholics Anonymous with a long list of reasons why we drank, acted out, exploded, withdrew, lied, manipulated, or held resentments. We became experts at pointing to what someone else …

There’s a moment in recovery where life starts pressing in from every side and it feels like everything is falling apart. The relationship is strained. The finances are tight. The emotions are raw. The character defects are impossible to ignore. The loneliness feels louder now that the noise of alcohol, chaos, or compulsions has been …

Recovery is not just about stopping a behavior. It’s about becoming a different person. Too often, people think sobriety simply means not drinking alcohol or avoiding destructive behaviors. While abstinence may be the beginning, it is not the whole journey. Real sobriety is much deeper. It is emotional, spiritual, relational, and personal transformation. Sobriety is …

I was at a recent home group meeting and the chair, Dave, chose to have a discussion about Step Two and he read from the 12&12 and the Big Book. “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” There were some awesome shares on this power we talk about …

Step One, Acceptance, and the Freedom Found in Surrender One of the most exhausting things an alcoholic ever does is negotiate with reality. We negotiate with consequences. We negotiate with truth. We negotiate with our own patterns, our own pain, our own powerlessness. We say things like: “Maybe this time will be different.” “I can …