I was sitting in a speaker meeting last night and as the speaker was sharing her experience with inventory (specifically the Fourth Step), she kept using the phase, “When I was introduced to myself..” in relation to the causes and conditions of her failure. It really hit me. She kept using that phrase over and …

(A Follow-Up to “God’s Will vs. My Will”) In the quiet moments of early sobriety, when the mental fog begins to lift and the reality of a life rebuilt starts to take shape, many members of Alcoholics Anonymous find themselves asking a simple question: What now? We have taken the initial steps. We have admitted …

There was a time when nearly every strong emotion in my life seemed to point toward the same solution. A difficult day? Drink. A painful disappointment? Drink. Angry at someone? Drink. Lonely, afraid, exhausted, embarrassed, rejected, or overwhelmed? Drink. Even happiness could become a reason. A good day deserved a celebration. A bad day required …

When My Mind Gets Loud, I Know Who’s Talking A few years ago I had a situation in my life that I had been stressing over. I had spent lots of time arguing with myself over a decision that, in hindsight, wasn’t all that complicated. I had built a case for one option. Then demolished …

If there’s one thing alcoholics are exceptionally good at, it’s being absolutely certain. Certain we aren’t as bad as those people. Certain we can quit whenever we really decide to. Certain everyone else is overreacting. Certain the problem is our job. Our marriage. Our parents. Our anxiety. Our luck. Our boss. The economy. The bartender who pours too heavy. …

One sentence in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions has probably caused more discussion, disagreement, confusion, and self-examination than almost any other: “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.” — Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten The first time …

One of the more interesting writing assignments I’ve ever suggested to a sponsee had nothing to do with Step Four, amends lists, or character defects. It was simply this: Write about your expectations. At first glance, that may not seem like a particularly “A.A.” topic. Expectations don’t appear in the Twelve Steps. The Big Book doesn’t …

The Message Never Changes, But The Methods Do One of the gifts of studying the Big Book with other alcoholics is discovering that sometimes the most interesting conversations happen in the tension between what the book says and how we experience recovery today. Tonight, I was in a Big Book study discussing pages 90-91 of …